On the morning of September 15, I awoke to a gush of fluid. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions for the better part of a week. I knew that any gush of fluid wasn't good, so I dedicated 20 minutes of searching online for ONE explanation that might eliminate the fear that was building.
I never found it.
At the hospital, I was told that my cervix was 4cm dilated and that I had a bulging bag - which means that I was dilated enough and having strong enough contractions that my membrane was pushed down into my vagina.
Soon, I was started on Magnesium which was meant to stave off contractions but also had some endearing side-effects such as making it so that my muscles didn't work, slurring my words and erasing my vocabulary, double and sometimes triple vision, and a severe case of projectile vomiting.
Tuesday, September 18 at 405am, my water broke. 10 minutes later, I was in hard labor. At 439am, our daughter, Mira was born.
Two hours later, she died. It is our hope that she is with my Da, who died in 2006. If anyone, he will know best how to raise a Spitfire Baby.
Pre Term Labor affects many women every year. In 70% of the cases, there is no noted reason for it. Thus is ours.
The Hub and I have struggled this past four weeks to once again stand up, regain our balance and begin to step forward. It is possible we will try to conceive again. The numbers regarding Pre Term Labor in our future are not good. But, if we do head down that path, you can bet that our adventures will be told here.
The only thing that is certain is that for now, this part of our lives is on pause.
