I guess you are wondering what is with the sudden spurt in posting. I promised to get back to blogging. And, though I know very few of you well enough to be held accountable, I will keep that promise.
While my hands have been kept too busy to type, I haven't lost track of a million things that I want to tell you. All of the shit that happens when you become unpregnant, stuff that happens when you have a Hub, a baby boy, a Miniature Schnauzer, and a cast of balls-to-the-wall friends and family, and you go back to work. . . It all makes for good story telling.
I'm sure you can guess that the focus of this blog won't be about pregnancy anymore. . . But, I'm pretty sure you are tired of that anyway. Two years of bitching and moaning doesn't make for good entertainment. Though, I'm not sure you came here for the laughs.
For now, welcome back to my life. I'm getting back to it and am happy to have you along for the ride.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
FLUSHING MY PIPES
I bet you think you know me. You are wrong. This post isn't about poop. Nyah!
During pregnancy, all of my luxurious Asian hair grew longer and thicker every day. Two months after dropping my lovely load (I just had to sneak in a shit joke, right?) my hair started falling out like gangbusters.
I'm not talking about a few hairs here and there. I'm talking about giant handfuls and clumps of make-a-new-me amounts of hair. In the shower? I think it came out easier with conditioner. One night, it was so bad that I called the Hub into the bathroom to help gauge just how serious the hair loss had become. We ranked my affliction somewhere between obese Himalayan cat at the beginning of summer and chemotherapy. Yes. I just wrote that. And, it was.
So much shedding that I cleaned out my bathtub drain with one of these
several times. More impressive was the yield. We're talking about handfuls of knotted, mystery gunk filled, how the hell did water pass this shit, wads of hair that seemed to stretch on for days. I think I pulled some of those clumps back from the sewer main. Across the street.
Not only was my hair falling out in clumps, it was doing so UP FRONT, people! Suddenly, I knew the plight of every receding hairline! Ugh.
Google does wonders to calm you. . . If you read the right stuff. The right stuff in this case being: hair fall (there is a janky shampoo commercial out about this) ceases during pregnancy, often because a body expends energy on something else (like making a human) and can't waste it on regrowing hairs that naturally fall out. So, when you finally get back to normal, and are unpregnant, you body has some catching up to do (did we already discuss bleeding for weeks?). According to the intarwebz, normal hair growth and loss will return by the 12t month. That is a year. That is a long time to wait.
Lucky for me that the major loss has slowed and I am back to cleaning the air return registers only once a week. However, all of those hairs that fell out in groups are now growing back in. Let's just say that in a few months, I am going to look like a crackhead cut my bangs. Until then, I look like I have spiked fringe above my temples.
Ladies, remember to clean your drains. Your family will appreciate it.
During pregnancy, all of my luxurious Asian hair grew longer and thicker every day. Two months after dropping my lovely load (I just had to sneak in a shit joke, right?) my hair started falling out like gangbusters.
I'm not talking about a few hairs here and there. I'm talking about giant handfuls and clumps of make-a-new-me amounts of hair. In the shower? I think it came out easier with conditioner. One night, it was so bad that I called the Hub into the bathroom to help gauge just how serious the hair loss had become. We ranked my affliction somewhere between obese Himalayan cat at the beginning of summer and chemotherapy. Yes. I just wrote that. And, it was.
So much shedding that I cleaned out my bathtub drain with one of these
Not only was my hair falling out in clumps, it was doing so UP FRONT, people! Suddenly, I knew the plight of every receding hairline! Ugh.
Google does wonders to calm you. . . If you read the right stuff. The right stuff in this case being: hair fall (there is a janky shampoo commercial out about this) ceases during pregnancy, often because a body expends energy on something else (like making a human) and can't waste it on regrowing hairs that naturally fall out. So, when you finally get back to normal, and are unpregnant, you body has some catching up to do (did we already discuss bleeding for weeks?). According to the intarwebz, normal hair growth and loss will return by the 12t month. That is a year. That is a long time to wait.
Lucky for me that the major loss has slowed and I am back to cleaning the air return registers only once a week. However, all of those hairs that fell out in groups are now growing back in. Let's just say that in a few months, I am going to look like a crackhead cut my bangs. Until then, I look like I have spiked fringe above my temples.
Ladies, remember to clean your drains. Your family will appreciate it.
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