While I wait. . and wait. . and wait for this baby to make an appearance, I will fill you in on some of the moderate annoyances that have taken over my life. Today, I want to discuss the miracle and wonder that I call Nipple Crystals.
Remember those science experiment packs that your Great Aunt Tillie used to send in the mail when you were a kid? They might contain Sea Monkeys (Brine Shrimp that your Da would later feed to his fish) or an Ant Farm (which would eventually fail and free all detainees.) Then, there was the Grow Your Own Crystal packs. I'm pretty sure colored sugar and string made up the package and you just added water. Remember those brittle little crystals that eventually climbed out of the Tupperware bowl?
These crystals are the same. Except you don't need shit but a lactating boob and some dry air. It's a MIRACLE!
I'm not sure you know this, but there isn't just ONE tiny hole in your nipple. There are crevasses. Take a look one day. You will see what I'm talking about.
When you being to lactate (more prevalent during pregnancy when you were just pregnant), all of the liquid doesn't get sucked out of the nipple. Some of it stays and crystallizes. You probably wouldn't notice except that there is an unsettling feeling of itch (AND SODOM AND GOMORRAH) in your nipples. With a little fidgeting, you will produce a few tiny NIPPLE CRYSTALS. And they will look like they would hurt if stuck in your nipples.
They look a little like ground sea salt. I pretty sure they won't taste like it.
No comments:
Post a Comment