LONG TIME GONE.

I'm not sure what happened.

I had a kidlet.
I also blogged.

Two years later, I still have a kidlet.
I have not blogged.
At all.  (But, you should see me zing on Facebook!)

Looking back at the last handful of posts I managed to make in my bleary-eyed, new mama stage, I didn't even recognize the words, the voice, or even some of the witty shit that was typed.  I've been gone too long.

The good thing is that I don't think anyone pays attention to this blog - so I can really get away with writing anything that I want.

Wait.  I do that anyway.

So. . . let's not beat around the bush, let me give you a peek into the life of a Mama of a Spitfire child:

My child, who is too wise and too tall for his meager 2 1/2 years, followed me into the kitchen from the garage.

Kidlet:  Mama.  Will you take my shoes off?
Me:       I can't right now.  You can take them off, I have to put away the groceries.
Kidlet:  Mama, I want YOU to take them off.
Me:       I can't right now.  (Continued putting away groceries.)
Kidlet:  (More animated now.)  Mama!  TAKE.  MY.  SHOES.  OFF.
Me:       Okay.  You open the straps and I will take them off.
Kidlet:  No!  YOU TAKE THEM OFF!

So, I leaned down and took his hand and placed it on the back of his shoe while I slid the shoe off with my other hand. . . thereby launching the more ginormous, eat-shit-and-die, broken-hearted, sob fest that I have ever seen.  I sent him to the living room stairs to calm down and offered to talk to him about it when he was calm.

**10 minutes later**

Kidlet:  (Head peering out around the corner)  Mama.  I'm ready to talk about it now.
Me:       Okay.  Come on into the kitchen.
Kidlet:  Will you please put my shoes on?
Me:       Sure.  (Putting him on the counter and pulling on both shoes.)  Maybe we can go outside and               play now?

I am not exaggerating or kidding when I say that this little punk then looked me in the eyes and said, "Now, you take them off by yourself."

. . . . OMGWTFBBQ?

For those of you who are still reading and NOT laughing at my expense, he was pretty upset when I then told him that I wouldn't do it - but then we both compromised as he opened the straps and I removed the shoes.

Seriously.  My baby is a Spitfire.
And he came by that honestly.