I've reached that solemn point. I stand upon the edge of a vast expanse. Surpassing the threshold means only one thing: I WILL NEED TO BUY SOME BIG-ASS MATERNITY BRAS. AND IMMEDIATELY, PEOPLE.
My cups are full and depending on the day, they might even run over a bit. You've heard of shoe dough, right?
Even worse, people, is the over-developed look of my baby bottle tops. Sometimes, given the right environment (read: freezing office), you can see the topology of my tee pees through my shirt AND bra. That's not right. I'm pretty sure that the whole purpose of lightly lined bra cups is to prevent tent poles from erecting. Right??
I have read that with a second pregnancy, spontaneous milk production has been known to occur. Being that my two pregnancies are within 6 months of each other, I have a good chance of this happening. I suspect that my early-budding peonies are particularly full-bloom because of this.
Did I even post about sitting on the throne for a pre-shower pee and looking down to find that I was milking all over myself? This happened about two weeks after our daughter died and all I could do was laugh. Really, the only thing funnier would be me puking in my own lap while crapping my brains out with food poisoning. Did I mention that has happened in my lifetime? Yeah. I'm a fucking winner.
To recap: Boobs are exploding like KA-BOOB! Nerps are more demonstrative than that rubber tip at the end of a teacher's pointer thingy. I'm waiting for the let down!
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