MILESTONE DAYS.

In just four short days, I will be going back to the OB for another check-in.  I will hear the heartbeat and hopefully see our baby moving around in the gelatinous good that my abdomen has become.  For now, I will simply celebrate the 12 week mark.

Assuming that all goes well during my check-in on Friday, we will celebrate this coming weekend.  Pregnancy has its immediate rewards, you just have to look for them.  In the mid-term, I'm keeping a list. . . a list that I hope to share with our child in the future. 

I call it the "SHIT YOU DID WHILE YOU WERE IN THE WOMB"  I plan to add to it as we go.
1.   Shot trap with friends in March.  It was cold and you were so little that you could have rivaled the size of a BB.
2.   Helped celebrate my 35th birthday at a hoosier bar.  You imbibed plenty of fake drinks and shots through the night.
3.   Hiked the saturated hills of Castlewood Park so that we could survey the swollen Meramec River that surged over its banks and on the lower parking lots and trails.
4.   Gutted and replaced an entire bathroom.  You did none of the work and neither did I - but we endured while the potty was bare bones.
5.   Accompanied your cousin, Rose, on a trip to Chicago to see the sights and over indulge with the shopping on Michigan Avenue.  I was too paranoid about the pregnancy to buy any maternity clothes.  You inhaled everything from Portillo's to Gino's East.  Amazing appetite for someone so tiny.

This list will keep going.  As will this pregnancy.

SLUGBUG! NO SLUGBACKS!

I just wanted you all to know that my fallibility is supreme.

Since I posted my bullshit about morning sickness waning, it has hit me with a bat.  A really big, fucking bat.

I am afraid to swallow because I'm not sure there is enough room in my throat with the volume of vomit I just know is already filling it.

Yay! for Friday!

POWERFUL WORDS.

Since my last post, I want to tell you that my nausea has been cut in half.  I still feel like I'm dying a little bit, but not nearly as often as I was.  I will consider this the miraculous workings of my powerful digital words.

Thank you and you're welcome.

PERPETUAL SPOONS.

I've been reading back to determine just how long this Hell lasted last time.  I have come up with no certain results.  I feel like it lasted longer than the end of my first Trimester.  But, I'm not sure how long.  Believe me.  If I could figure it out, I would.

Despite eating small bites regularly, I am still finding a consistent nausea sending waves of agony from my Tummy and into my throat.  It is bad this time around and I loathe it.  LOATHE IT.

Just sitting here, I have made that distinctive gagging noise twice and there is no sign of letting up.  I feel like there is a large spoon sitting on the back of my tongue and I can't get rid of it.

What's worse?  We are running low of pregnancy-edibles (read:  whatever actually sounds good right this moment) and I need to go the grocery.  Know what sucks about that?  Everything.  Because EVERYTHING stinks.

I'm *this* close to letting my poor husband eat my leftovers for the next several weeks.  I find that when something sounds good, it only sounds good for three-quarters of a serving.  Therefore, yesterday (the night before trash day), we threw out a shitload of containers of primarily eaten food.  Yeah.  Gross.  I know.

Know what is actually really good right now?
*  Capri Suns - frozen and eaten with a spoon
*  Cheesy Pretzels from Rold Gold
*  Giant Soft Pretzels
*  Edy's Frozen Strawberry Bars

A girl really can't survive on those things. . .

MILESTONE DAYS.

I am happy to announce that we are 11 weeks into this pregnancy and from the continued nausea and achey boobies, everything is going well.  Add onto the list my trouble sleeping and an out of control need to pee every hour and a half overnight and we have ourselves a party!

There are just two weeks until my next appointment and I would be a dirty liar if I didn't admit that I feel like these will be the longest two weeks.  Ever.  Not only will I actually be going THREE weeks between visits, but Mother's Day is this next weekend.  I'm already sick of seeing all of the commercials for it.  I'm sure I'll have a whole post about this later in the week. . . and I'm pretty sure it won't be as up-beat as this. 

For now, I want to list some of the things that I have been doing to keep my mind from going to wacka-doodle town. . .

*  The Hub and I (and our pup) went on a long hike at one of our local State Parks.  It rained nearly all weekend, but we managed to find a time that the clouds held their fodder.  Have you ever hiked during the summer when everything was green but dry?  You might have noticed all of the dry river beds criss crossing through the hills and under dry bridges.  Saturday was an amazing day for a hike because ALL of those were running with water!  It was probably my all-time favorite hike!  To me, running water *is* the magic in nature.  Upon retrospect, I should have taken some pictures.  Hmm.

*  The bathroom is nearly completed.  The closet is completely put back together and all of our things (sans that crap that everyone has but needs to throw out) are back in place.  The only missing piece is the medicine cabinet - which should be arriving this week.  Then, it will be finished.

I am still trying to compile a list of "to-dos" for this next two weeks.  Given my lack of good sleep, I suspect a little more napping.  That will definitely cut into my free-time.  ;)

WINNING THE TITLE BOUT

Yesterday was worse.  It was hard to get out of bed.  I dreamed over and over again, in the night, that I woke to have blood in my underwear.  Really red blood.  Each time, I went to the bathroom and checked.  Each and every time.

By the time the alarm went off, I was in no shape to go anywhere.  So, I crept into my home office and plugged into work for the day.

By mid afternoon, I was in tears for one reason or another.  Eventually, when the Hub was finished with his softball game, he called to find out what he should do for dinner.  More tears resulted in a stressed out Hub bringing home an enormous bag of Taco Bell - hoping that SOMETHING would be the right thing.

Somehow, there was magic in those tacos.  Or, in the security of having the Hub home.

Today, I'm exhausted and feeling scabbed over. 

It has been nearly three months since I last took some steps backwards.  I'd say I was due.

GLOBULAR DOMINATION.

I've reached that solemn point.  I stand upon the edge of a vast expanse.  Surpassing the threshold means only one thing:  I WILL NEED TO BUY SOME BIG-ASS MATERNITY BRAS.  AND IMMEDIATELY, PEOPLE.

My cups are full and depending on the day, they might even run over a bit.  You've heard of shoe dough, right?

Even worse, people, is the over-developed look of my baby bottle tops.  Sometimes, given the right environment (read:  freezing office), you can see the topology of my tee pees through my shirt AND bra.  That's not right.  I'm pretty sure that the whole purpose of lightly lined bra cups is to prevent tent poles from erecting.  Right??

I have read that with a second pregnancy, spontaneous milk production has been known to occur.  Being that my two pregnancies are within 6 months of each other, I have a good chance of this happening.  I suspect that my early-budding peonies are particularly full-bloom because of this.

Did I even post about sitting on the throne for a pre-shower pee and looking down to find that I was milking all over myself?  This happened about two weeks after our daughter died and all I could do was laugh.  Really, the only thing funnier would be me puking in my own lap while crapping my brains out with food poisoning.  Did I mention that has happened in my lifetime?  Yeah.  I'm a fucking winner.

To recap:  Boobs are exploding like KA-BOOB!  Nerps are more demonstrative than that rubber tip at the end of a teacher's pointer thingy.  I'm waiting for the let down!