Given that the Hub is driving an hour (one frickin' way) for work every day and I recently started my Leave of Absence (doesn't LoA make you think of "Sit on my Face"?) I need to release a few things into the webiverse. . .
* Laying down on my side relieves the contractions that seem to come whenever the baby has a kicking fit, I've been upright too long or I'm under too much stress.
* I love feeling the baby move, but let me be clear: it gets trying when it feels like he is trying to kick my belly button into an outie.
* The baby just rocked my world so hard that the iPad switched from upright to landscape view. He totally read my mind on that last bullet.
* Even if I am not working for a while, I am going to continue to keep getting up during the week. I want to keep a normal sleep schedule. Now, to find something I can fill in the time with. . . Crosswords, craft projects, reading. . .
* This actually isn't a freak show. By, it feels that way at times.
Friday, August 16, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
SEROIUS TOPICS CALL FOR SERIOUS POSTS.
Just a quick story from my time in the Clink. . .
On the afternoon of my first day, a second year OB came to administer a trans-vaginal ultrasound so that we could get a good idea of my cervical length. Really, they were looking for anything over 3cm. My previous measurement was 4.9. . . so the stitch was working.
This particular exam, however, wasn't to begin without some bumps. It is as if the OB wasn't even looking at her target - and as an amateur sharp shooter, I have to tell you that the more eyes on the target, the better the chance of hitting it!
Instead of gently guiding the probe into my vagina, she instead tried to force it through my clitoris. My Clitoris.
In my head, my evil voice was screaming. . "is that where yours is??" Instead of vocalizing, I simply started to raise my hips to help the OB get to the goal. Ahhhhhh.
It wasn't a good day to begin with - so really, this was all ICING.
On the afternoon of my first day, a second year OB came to administer a trans-vaginal ultrasound so that we could get a good idea of my cervical length. Really, they were looking for anything over 3cm. My previous measurement was 4.9. . . so the stitch was working.
This particular exam, however, wasn't to begin without some bumps. It is as if the OB wasn't even looking at her target - and as an amateur sharp shooter, I have to tell you that the more eyes on the target, the better the chance of hitting it!
Instead of gently guiding the probe into my vagina, she instead tried to force it through my clitoris. My Clitoris.
In my head, my evil voice was screaming. . "is that where yours is??" Instead of vocalizing, I simply started to raise my hips to help the OB get to the goal. Ahhhhhh.
It wasn't a good day to begin with - so really, this was all ICING.
AT ITS BEST AND WORSE. CONCOMITANTLY.
I learned the word: concomitant. I only learned it because when I was reading medical journals in the hospital, I wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to die due to concomitant usage of two tocolytic drugs. I did not.
This morning, I had what was probably the most comfortable sleep - in the last year. However, it was not without its drawbacks. I also managed to have one of the worst nightmares of my life. Somehow, it didn't hurt the physical comfort.
Let me tell you about my crazy.
The Hub and I went to visit his parents for a quiet visit and it turned out that they had invited the entire extended family to see us. No good - especially when I was supposed to be on bed rest. So, I said some choice words and then took off in the car - leaving the Hub to manage.
On my way out of his small hometown, I took a moment to go mountain biking in an alleyway (think city brick-lined alley.) As I rode through, I noticed that there were piles of dead livestock - horses, primarily. One, particularly, had a pile of baby horses just outside the entrace to their garage.
So, ever the cavalier, I strode into the garage to read the riot act to the owners. I got their sob story about being unable to care for the horses. . . of course, none of this was important once I was asked to "show" their new breed of miniature cows at the state fair.
The rest of the dream consisted of me struggling to pull on shiny new muck boots and practicing marching around the arena with a miniature cow in tow.
Now, you tell me. What the fuck does this have to do with anything?
This morning, I had what was probably the most comfortable sleep - in the last year. However, it was not without its drawbacks. I also managed to have one of the worst nightmares of my life. Somehow, it didn't hurt the physical comfort.
Let me tell you about my crazy.
The Hub and I went to visit his parents for a quiet visit and it turned out that they had invited the entire extended family to see us. No good - especially when I was supposed to be on bed rest. So, I said some choice words and then took off in the car - leaving the Hub to manage.
On my way out of his small hometown, I took a moment to go mountain biking in an alleyway (think city brick-lined alley.) As I rode through, I noticed that there were piles of dead livestock - horses, primarily. One, particularly, had a pile of baby horses just outside the entrace to their garage.
So, ever the cavalier, I strode into the garage to read the riot act to the owners. I got their sob story about being unable to care for the horses. . . of course, none of this was important once I was asked to "show" their new breed of miniature cows at the state fair.
The rest of the dream consisted of me struggling to pull on shiny new muck boots and practicing marching around the arena with a miniature cow in tow.
Now, you tell me. What the fuck does this have to do with anything?
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
PIMPIN' AIN'T EASY.
So, I have a saga to tell you. A week ago today, my child started to go absolutely jerk-face insane (read: I thought he was trying to kick out my side-wall.) I put my hand on my belly and noticed that the entirety was hard as a rock.
Uh-oh.
So, I waited and after it relaxed, it happened again. And again.
When I was to 6 in one hour, I called my OB. The office directed me to go immediately to the local high risk hospital. (My day was definitely deteriorating fast.) I cried and then got cleaned up and into the car.
Yes. This is the second time I drove myself to the hospital while having contractions. Thankfully (and not so thankfully, I do not feel contractions. But, we'll get to this later).
In triage, my check-in nurse remembered me. She had been my first contact and first nurse when I checked-in to have Mira. It was a sad moment. But, then, things started moving fast. . . doppler, ultrasound and then cervical check. My cervix is tender and it bleeds on contact. Doesn't that make you cringe? My cerclage was still in one piece (I'm not sure that is the right descriptor, but we'll go with it.)
An awesome nurse plunged an IV into my hand started fluids - though, I can tell you that as a 2+ gallon a day water drinker, I didn't need. I was given a shot of Terbutaline (a fast working tocolytic) and whisked upstairs to the Labor and Delivery floor. The "Terb" makes you feel like you are going to jump out of your skin. It makes you antsy and uncomfortable. But, it helps wane the contractions long enough to move you to another place.
In L&D, I was inspected again - by another OB and because I was already bleeding all over the place, they couldn't perform a Fetal Fibronectin test. If they could have, it would have shown if I was going to go into labor in the next two weeks or not. Yeah. My body likes to kill the easy road.
So, instead, they measured everything manually - and used a bedside ultrasound to tell me that my cervical length was 2. ALARM!
The Hub arrived and I started Magnesium. Again. This shit is still and will always be the worst shit in the world. Of course, I also received two shots (over two days) of Betamethazone for the baby's lungs. Those feel like like lava being forced through a needle and deep into your ass cheek. (The things we do for our babies!!)
Fast forward a day and I was wheeled down to PeriNatal for a high tech ultrasound scan. Yes. I was out of my gourd with the Magnesium, but, it was worth it. Our boy is long and strong and beautiful. And, the good news. . . my cervix measured 4.6. If you don't know, that is really long and perfect.
In another night, I was taken off the Mag and put on ProCardia - a high blood pressure medicine that has a lovely side effect as a tocolytic. Other than making me flush deep red with heat every six hours, it worked. By Friday, I was moved to the Ante Partum unit.
Now. . . this place, isn't where you want to be, but it is a step up from the L&D unit. The women on AP are there for the long haul. They are suffering all types of yuck from placenta previa to PTL. The nurses are there for companionship as well as guardianship. (Every single day, I thanked the universe for Colleen.)
Finally, on Sunday morning, I was wheeled down to PeriNatal again for another scan where they determined that my cervix had not changed. So, guess what? I got to go home on modified bedrest.
I can work for a couple hours and then take a break. So - I think this post counts as work. Right?
I will have weekly appointments with my OB and our goal is to make it through the beginning of September - to 28 weeks. We set small goals - they are more attainable.
I hope you have had a better week than I had.
Uh-oh.
So, I waited and after it relaxed, it happened again. And again.
When I was to 6 in one hour, I called my OB. The office directed me to go immediately to the local high risk hospital. (My day was definitely deteriorating fast.) I cried and then got cleaned up and into the car.
Yes. This is the second time I drove myself to the hospital while having contractions. Thankfully (and not so thankfully, I do not feel contractions. But, we'll get to this later).
In triage, my check-in nurse remembered me. She had been my first contact and first nurse when I checked-in to have Mira. It was a sad moment. But, then, things started moving fast. . . doppler, ultrasound and then cervical check. My cervix is tender and it bleeds on contact. Doesn't that make you cringe? My cerclage was still in one piece (I'm not sure that is the right descriptor, but we'll go with it.)
An awesome nurse plunged an IV into my hand started fluids - though, I can tell you that as a 2+ gallon a day water drinker, I didn't need. I was given a shot of Terbutaline (a fast working tocolytic) and whisked upstairs to the Labor and Delivery floor. The "Terb" makes you feel like you are going to jump out of your skin. It makes you antsy and uncomfortable. But, it helps wane the contractions long enough to move you to another place.
In L&D, I was inspected again - by another OB and because I was already bleeding all over the place, they couldn't perform a Fetal Fibronectin test. If they could have, it would have shown if I was going to go into labor in the next two weeks or not. Yeah. My body likes to kill the easy road.
So, instead, they measured everything manually - and used a bedside ultrasound to tell me that my cervical length was 2. ALARM!
The Hub arrived and I started Magnesium. Again. This shit is still and will always be the worst shit in the world. Of course, I also received two shots (over two days) of Betamethazone for the baby's lungs. Those feel like like lava being forced through a needle and deep into your ass cheek. (The things we do for our babies!!)
Fast forward a day and I was wheeled down to PeriNatal for a high tech ultrasound scan. Yes. I was out of my gourd with the Magnesium, but, it was worth it. Our boy is long and strong and beautiful. And, the good news. . . my cervix measured 4.6. If you don't know, that is really long and perfect.
In another night, I was taken off the Mag and put on ProCardia - a high blood pressure medicine that has a lovely side effect as a tocolytic. Other than making me flush deep red with heat every six hours, it worked. By Friday, I was moved to the Ante Partum unit.
Now. . . this place, isn't where you want to be, but it is a step up from the L&D unit. The women on AP are there for the long haul. They are suffering all types of yuck from placenta previa to PTL. The nurses are there for companionship as well as guardianship. (Every single day, I thanked the universe for Colleen.)
Finally, on Sunday morning, I was wheeled down to PeriNatal again for another scan where they determined that my cervix had not changed. So, guess what? I got to go home on modified bedrest.
I can work for a couple hours and then take a break. So - I think this post counts as work. Right?
I will have weekly appointments with my OB and our goal is to make it through the beginning of September - to 28 weeks. We set small goals - they are more attainable.
I hope you have had a better week than I had.
Monday, August 5, 2013
MILESTONE DAYS.
Here we are on another fine Monday morning. Let's not kid ourselves, people. Mondays blow and forever will. The only thing that perks me up today is this: Per our original calculations, I have officially made it past the gestational age that I gave birth to Mira. Last Tuesday came and went with a flourish that only a work conference can bring. And the food sucked. Don't get me started.
I have started to get the hormones - sounds like a real disease when you say it like that. Last Wednesday afternoon, I cried when I found a tiny spider vein on my belly. Friday, I cried because I was so tired and then I cried harder when my nose began to bleed and I only noticed it after I had chuffed it all over my desk and laptop screen. Do you know what an ugly cry looks like when you are leaking snot, tears and blood all at once? I'll step back a moment and let you laugh that one out.
I'm not more rested today than I am on Friday, but I feel better. Perhaps it was sleeping in until 930 on the weekend. It could have been the fact that I put my feet up for most of the weekend. Or, I'm thinking the lack of work. . . that usually does it. Whatever the reason, I feel better.
Because I know that the better feeling never lasts, here are a few thoughts and ideas I will reflect on to get me through the next week:
* When older gentlemen notice your Bump and then proceed to wickedly smile and make a comment on your pregnancy, I suspect it is because they know you put out.
* No one has touched my belly, unwelcomed. This either speaks volumes on the advancement of social convention OR the fact that I'm a scary looking monster.
* I am thankful that no friends, who are privy to my ever-growing secret, have spilled the beans on FB or anywhere else.
* Speaking of FB, the Hub and I have an appointment on Thursday, during which we will have another giant ultrasound to try to determine the actual gestational age of the pregnancy. Afterwards, we will likely, finally, announce the pregancy. FaceBook Official. Oh-fiss-ee-AL.
* My upper back has been causing me great discomfort. Do you know who this makes me think of? Otto Titsling. Seriously. Look him up.
* The Hub is still looking for a new job. I feel like if I focus my energy on that, he will get one sooner. You should help, too. =)
It's Monday. Give yourself something to smile about today. Go somewhere nice for lunch, give yourself an extra 30 minutes of sitting somewhere quiet for no reason, or accept someone's compliment and really believe them.
I have started to get the hormones - sounds like a real disease when you say it like that. Last Wednesday afternoon, I cried when I found a tiny spider vein on my belly. Friday, I cried because I was so tired and then I cried harder when my nose began to bleed and I only noticed it after I had chuffed it all over my desk and laptop screen. Do you know what an ugly cry looks like when you are leaking snot, tears and blood all at once? I'll step back a moment and let you laugh that one out.
I'm not more rested today than I am on Friday, but I feel better. Perhaps it was sleeping in until 930 on the weekend. It could have been the fact that I put my feet up for most of the weekend. Or, I'm thinking the lack of work. . . that usually does it. Whatever the reason, I feel better.
Because I know that the better feeling never lasts, here are a few thoughts and ideas I will reflect on to get me through the next week:
* When older gentlemen notice your Bump and then proceed to wickedly smile and make a comment on your pregnancy, I suspect it is because they know you put out.
* No one has touched my belly, unwelcomed. This either speaks volumes on the advancement of social convention OR the fact that I'm a scary looking monster.
* I am thankful that no friends, who are privy to my ever-growing secret, have spilled the beans on FB or anywhere else.
* Speaking of FB, the Hub and I have an appointment on Thursday, during which we will have another giant ultrasound to try to determine the actual gestational age of the pregnancy. Afterwards, we will likely, finally, announce the pregancy. FaceBook Official. Oh-fiss-ee-AL.
* My upper back has been causing me great discomfort. Do you know who this makes me think of? Otto Titsling. Seriously. Look him up.
* The Hub is still looking for a new job. I feel like if I focus my energy on that, he will get one sooner. You should help, too. =)
It's Monday. Give yourself something to smile about today. Go somewhere nice for lunch, give yourself an extra 30 minutes of sitting somewhere quiet for no reason, or accept someone's compliment and really believe them.
Monday, July 29, 2013
MILESTONE DAYS.
Wow. I haven't posted since last MILESTONE DAY. That makes me sad. And curious as to what I'm doing with my life all the time. Oh. Let me think. . . . I went grocery shopping, I bought a pair of shoes (for my newly over-sized feet - THANK YOU, RELAXIN!), I had a donut date with My Manda (sweet Apple Fritters of love), and I had a my weekly shot and OB appointment.
As you know, the next several weeks bring weekly appointments. Next week's appointment will boast yet another anatomy scan of the baby. Our OB is pretty sure we are actually 25 weeks this Wednesday instead of 23 weeks today. We'll get to the bottom of this madness.
So, onto more . . . pressing stuff.
I am sad. The last three nights, I have had the worst nightmares. One featured my dead father and me - arguing. Not the best time. Likely, the stress of the Hub being out of permanent work and today being the start of my 23rd week is taking its toll.
Mira was born and died when I was 23w1d. It was a Tuesday.
To make this joy-fest even better, the Hub is working days with his Dad's company out of town. This is very similar to what happened last September when I started labor and had to call him from the hospital to have him rush home.
I think we are both feeling a little anxious about this week. But, I'm also feeling strong and really good (sans the noticeable lack of sleep.)
In order to get me through this week, here are a few things I am looking forward to:
* Seeing out of town co-workers and friends for the next three days at our conference
* Taking a deep breath when I get the Hub added to my insurance on Wednesday
* Seeing my SIL's pretty face after her successful surgery on Friday (to remove a noggin tumor)
* Paying off my Discover Card (does this count if I do this every two weeks?)
* Accruing another day towards my maternity leave (man, I am stretching on some of these)
* Feeling every awesome kick and punch that this baby has to dole out.
Yah.
As you know, the next several weeks bring weekly appointments. Next week's appointment will boast yet another anatomy scan of the baby. Our OB is pretty sure we are actually 25 weeks this Wednesday instead of 23 weeks today. We'll get to the bottom of this madness.
So, onto more . . . pressing stuff.
I am sad. The last three nights, I have had the worst nightmares. One featured my dead father and me - arguing. Not the best time. Likely, the stress of the Hub being out of permanent work and today being the start of my 23rd week is taking its toll.
Mira was born and died when I was 23w1d. It was a Tuesday.
To make this joy-fest even better, the Hub is working days with his Dad's company out of town. This is very similar to what happened last September when I started labor and had to call him from the hospital to have him rush home.
I think we are both feeling a little anxious about this week. But, I'm also feeling strong and really good (sans the noticeable lack of sleep.)
In order to get me through this week, here are a few things I am looking forward to:
* Seeing out of town co-workers and friends for the next three days at our conference
* Taking a deep breath when I get the Hub added to my insurance on Wednesday
* Seeing my SIL's pretty face after her successful surgery on Friday (to remove a noggin tumor)
* Paying off my Discover Card (does this count if I do this every two weeks?)
* Accruing another day towards my maternity leave (man, I am stretching on some of these)
* Feeling every awesome kick and punch that this baby has to dole out.
Yah.
Monday, July 22, 2013
MILESTONE DAYS.
Hello! People all over the world. . join hands! (Start a love train?)
It has been a week and two days since my last time in the clink.
(Yes, that really is how I feel about being in the hospital.)
Since that time, I have breathed a little relief. . . until the Hub came home and announced that he had been laid off work. Because, nothing in this house can ever be easy. The weekend was spent updating portfolios and resumes and redoing a LinkedIn account. Now, I think we're all ready to apply for new jobs. The bad news, of course, is that 40% of the Hub's industry is out of work. Great.
So what does this mean?
Thankfully, I have a good job and can take care of business while the Hub is out of work. Unfortunately, the Hub is so much like me that he cannot "do nothing." Therefore, he will likely start working for his father's company (an hour away) and staying there most of the work-week. This will leave me at home with our pup and my ever growing child. Exciting. Who needs bed rest?
In honor of our newly jacked-up situation, here is a list of non-seq comments for your pleasure:
* I have gained 8 pounds. That's it. Most women, at this point, have gained closer to 15 pounds. I'm alright with this. I'm a big girl anyway. (No, not that big. . . and yes, my OB says this is alright.)
* Our child takes after Daddy with the food favorites. He likes Chicken Chimichangas - and not Mommy's favorite burritos.
* I was able to use my experience with 17P shots to put someone at ease this weekend. While I have a high pain tolerance, I feel like the 17P shot has got nothing on discomfort when it comes to Cortizone. Really - after the initially stick (which is pretty deep), there really isn't any pain.
* Today was my neighborhoods large junk day. I'm sure there are other words for this, but my brain isnt' allowing me to think of them right now. Last night, when all of our neighbors were putting their large items on the curb, I kind of wished I had something obnoxious to put out there as well.
* I didn't make it to Krispy Kreme this weekend. This makes me sad.
* Does your spouse have access to all user names/pw to all of your accounts? My Hub does. In the even of something horrible happening, I made sure that all of my accounts (anything, people) are open to him. I want him to be able to collect monies, emails, etc. I think this is also good practice for strong trust. Or something, painfully cheesy like that.
I hope your week is starting off a little better than mine. What would my life be without some horrible shit happening every year? Oh yeah. . it would be your life. ;) You're welcome.
It has been a week and two days since my last time in the clink.
(Yes, that really is how I feel about being in the hospital.)
Since that time, I have breathed a little relief. . . until the Hub came home and announced that he had been laid off work. Because, nothing in this house can ever be easy. The weekend was spent updating portfolios and resumes and redoing a LinkedIn account. Now, I think we're all ready to apply for new jobs. The bad news, of course, is that 40% of the Hub's industry is out of work. Great.
So what does this mean?
Thankfully, I have a good job and can take care of business while the Hub is out of work. Unfortunately, the Hub is so much like me that he cannot "do nothing." Therefore, he will likely start working for his father's company (an hour away) and staying there most of the work-week. This will leave me at home with our pup and my ever growing child. Exciting. Who needs bed rest?
In honor of our newly jacked-up situation, here is a list of non-seq comments for your pleasure:
* I have gained 8 pounds. That's it. Most women, at this point, have gained closer to 15 pounds. I'm alright with this. I'm a big girl anyway. (No, not that big. . . and yes, my OB says this is alright.)
* Our child takes after Daddy with the food favorites. He likes Chicken Chimichangas - and not Mommy's favorite burritos.
* I was able to use my experience with 17P shots to put someone at ease this weekend. While I have a high pain tolerance, I feel like the 17P shot has got nothing on discomfort when it comes to Cortizone. Really - after the initially stick (which is pretty deep), there really isn't any pain.
* Today was my neighborhoods large junk day. I'm sure there are other words for this, but my brain isnt' allowing me to think of them right now. Last night, when all of our neighbors were putting their large items on the curb, I kind of wished I had something obnoxious to put out there as well.
* I didn't make it to Krispy Kreme this weekend. This makes me sad.
* Does your spouse have access to all user names/pw to all of your accounts? My Hub does. In the even of something horrible happening, I made sure that all of my accounts (anything, people) are open to him. I want him to be able to collect monies, emails, etc. I think this is also good practice for strong trust. Or something, painfully cheesy like that.
I hope your week is starting off a little better than mine. What would my life be without some horrible shit happening every year? Oh yeah. . it would be your life. ;) You're welcome.
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