MOOO.

No.  This post will not be about being fat.  In fact, I feel rather svelte.  I think it has to do with the strict diet and workout regimen that I have been following.  I say "strict" but what I really mean is that I eat thoughtfully and workout every night.  So. . . a little strict.

What this post is actually about is the change in my breasticles.  Those of you who are not comfortable with reading about or subsequently picturing my baby-pops might want to skip this one. .

We all know that with pregnancy come some major mammary changes.  Yes, the fun grows, fellas.  Those who previously matched dry-wall might now have some curves.  Those of us who already featured features are noticing rising dough from the tops of previously well-fitted bras.  Yeah.  That's awesome.  I'm not just curvy, I'm CURVY!  CUR-VAY!

If this was the only beast-tastic change, I would probably be alright, but I have to tell you. . . my nipples feel just slightly bigger, too.  I'm talking about the minute change of maybe biting the inside of your lip while chewing.  Though, the swelling might just increase the spot a little bit, you then continue to bite that motherfucker until it's raw and bleeding.  While I'm not gnawing on my nerps, I will admit that when drying after my shower last night, I caught my right nipple in the tie-loop of my robe and I feel like I nearly pulled it off. 

How exactly does one catch a nipple on something?  It's not really that much bigger - just "bigger" enough.  Yeah.  Happy day, ladies!