Wow. I haven't posted since last MILESTONE DAY. That makes me sad. And curious as to what I'm doing with my life all the time. Oh. Let me think. . . . I went grocery shopping, I bought a pair of shoes (for my newly over-sized feet - THANK YOU, RELAXIN!), I had a donut date with My Manda (sweet Apple Fritters of love), and I had a my weekly shot and OB appointment.
As you know, the next several weeks bring weekly appointments. Next week's appointment will boast yet another anatomy scan of the baby. Our OB is pretty sure we are actually 25 weeks this Wednesday instead of 23 weeks today. We'll get to the bottom of this madness.
So, onto more . . . pressing stuff.
I am sad. The last three nights, I have had the worst nightmares. One featured my dead father and me - arguing. Not the best time. Likely, the stress of the Hub being out of permanent work and today being the start of my 23rd week is taking its toll.
Mira was born and died when I was 23w1d. It was a Tuesday.
To make this joy-fest even better, the Hub is working days with his Dad's company out of town. This is very similar to what happened last September when I started labor and had to call him from the hospital to have him rush home.
I think we are both feeling a little anxious about this week. But, I'm also feeling strong and really good (sans the noticeable lack of sleep.)
In order to get me through this week, here are a few things I am looking forward to:
* Seeing out of town co-workers and friends for the next three days at our conference
* Taking a deep breath when I get the Hub added to my insurance on Wednesday
* Seeing my SIL's pretty face after her successful surgery on Friday (to remove a noggin tumor)
* Paying off my Discover Card (does this count if I do this every two weeks?)
* Accruing another day towards my maternity leave (man, I am stretching on some of these)
* Feeling every awesome kick and punch that this baby has to dole out.
Yah.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Monday, July 22, 2013
MILESTONE DAYS.
Hello! People all over the world. . join hands! (Start a love train?)
It has been a week and two days since my last time in the clink.
(Yes, that really is how I feel about being in the hospital.)
Since that time, I have breathed a little relief. . . until the Hub came home and announced that he had been laid off work. Because, nothing in this house can ever be easy. The weekend was spent updating portfolios and resumes and redoing a LinkedIn account. Now, I think we're all ready to apply for new jobs. The bad news, of course, is that 40% of the Hub's industry is out of work. Great.
So what does this mean?
Thankfully, I have a good job and can take care of business while the Hub is out of work. Unfortunately, the Hub is so much like me that he cannot "do nothing." Therefore, he will likely start working for his father's company (an hour away) and staying there most of the work-week. This will leave me at home with our pup and my ever growing child. Exciting. Who needs bed rest?
In honor of our newly jacked-up situation, here is a list of non-seq comments for your pleasure:
* I have gained 8 pounds. That's it. Most women, at this point, have gained closer to 15 pounds. I'm alright with this. I'm a big girl anyway. (No, not that big. . . and yes, my OB says this is alright.)
* Our child takes after Daddy with the food favorites. He likes Chicken Chimichangas - and not Mommy's favorite burritos.
* I was able to use my experience with 17P shots to put someone at ease this weekend. While I have a high pain tolerance, I feel like the 17P shot has got nothing on discomfort when it comes to Cortizone. Really - after the initially stick (which is pretty deep), there really isn't any pain.
* Today was my neighborhoods large junk day. I'm sure there are other words for this, but my brain isnt' allowing me to think of them right now. Last night, when all of our neighbors were putting their large items on the curb, I kind of wished I had something obnoxious to put out there as well.
* I didn't make it to Krispy Kreme this weekend. This makes me sad.
* Does your spouse have access to all user names/pw to all of your accounts? My Hub does. In the even of something horrible happening, I made sure that all of my accounts (anything, people) are open to him. I want him to be able to collect monies, emails, etc. I think this is also good practice for strong trust. Or something, painfully cheesy like that.
I hope your week is starting off a little better than mine. What would my life be without some horrible shit happening every year? Oh yeah. . it would be your life. ;) You're welcome.
It has been a week and two days since my last time in the clink.
(Yes, that really is how I feel about being in the hospital.)
Since that time, I have breathed a little relief. . . until the Hub came home and announced that he had been laid off work. Because, nothing in this house can ever be easy. The weekend was spent updating portfolios and resumes and redoing a LinkedIn account. Now, I think we're all ready to apply for new jobs. The bad news, of course, is that 40% of the Hub's industry is out of work. Great.
So what does this mean?
Thankfully, I have a good job and can take care of business while the Hub is out of work. Unfortunately, the Hub is so much like me that he cannot "do nothing." Therefore, he will likely start working for his father's company (an hour away) and staying there most of the work-week. This will leave me at home with our pup and my ever growing child. Exciting. Who needs bed rest?
In honor of our newly jacked-up situation, here is a list of non-seq comments for your pleasure:
* I have gained 8 pounds. That's it. Most women, at this point, have gained closer to 15 pounds. I'm alright with this. I'm a big girl anyway. (No, not that big. . . and yes, my OB says this is alright.)
* Our child takes after Daddy with the food favorites. He likes Chicken Chimichangas - and not Mommy's favorite burritos.
* I was able to use my experience with 17P shots to put someone at ease this weekend. While I have a high pain tolerance, I feel like the 17P shot has got nothing on discomfort when it comes to Cortizone. Really - after the initially stick (which is pretty deep), there really isn't any pain.
* Today was my neighborhoods large junk day. I'm sure there are other words for this, but my brain isnt' allowing me to think of them right now. Last night, when all of our neighbors were putting their large items on the curb, I kind of wished I had something obnoxious to put out there as well.
* I didn't make it to Krispy Kreme this weekend. This makes me sad.
* Does your spouse have access to all user names/pw to all of your accounts? My Hub does. In the even of something horrible happening, I made sure that all of my accounts (anything, people) are open to him. I want him to be able to collect monies, emails, etc. I think this is also good practice for strong trust. Or something, painfully cheesy like that.
I hope your week is starting off a little better than mine. What would my life be without some horrible shit happening every year? Oh yeah. . it would be your life. ;) You're welcome.
Friday, July 19, 2013
SIX DAYS LATER.
It has been six days since my last pregnancy emergency. My goal this time? Three weeks.
(I'm being realistic here, folks. I would love to NEVER have another emergency, but that is like counting on sprouting wings from my heels and soaring into the stratosphere.) So, in essence, I have 15 days to go and I will meet my goal. That's two weeks and 1 day for your calculation-challenged people.
On this oppressively hot Friday, I thought I would give you a list of updates / things I have to be glad about (Yes. Another fucking Pollyanna day. Eat it, punk.)
* I have made it six days without contracting (to my knowledge) or leaking (anything other than the occasional pee.) Again, being realistic requires me to accept the occasional self-pee simply because I have a child whose favorite time is playing bouncy castle on my bladder. No lie.
* I got out of the house yesterday and spent time with two of my favorite people. BONUS: Sticky Toffee Pudding with real Whipped Cream.
* On Tuesday, I received my Cortisone shots and I can tell you that my hands and wrists feel like normal. That shit is extremely painful (read: shooting lava into your wrists and hands and then forcing your hands to flex to move it around) but completely worth it. I haven't had any bad Carpal Tunnel juju since!
* One of my favorite out-of-towners is home for a week and he missed the behemoth that is me when I am pregnant - last time. So, I am looking forward to sporting my bump for Bart. "Bump for Bart" It's like a really gross charity. Ew.
* I saw the trailer for Thor2. I'm not going to lie. I will be seeing that eventually.
* This winter, when it is really fucking cold out and the child is still so young that he sleeps all the time, the Hub and I are going to host a party. We will have some obscene ice sculpture shot luge, a fire pit and a pony keg. People are welcome if they bring one of two items: a bottle of shootable liquor (no Popov, you cheapskate!) or a warm and delicious dish to share. Your child is welcome if s/he is anesthetized or young enough to sleep in a dark room with our child. Seriously. You can't be exposing young minds to a bunch of drunk adults sucking chilled shots of liquor out of a naked woman shot luge made out of ice! Dress warmly, ya'll!
* I think my Hub takes it as a bad omen that every time he plans to tell his parents that we are having another baby - I end up in the hospital. Perhaps in another two weeks. . . when we are officially past where we got to last time.
* My belly seam has expanded. No, not East to West, but NORTH. So, now it looks like I have a FULL belly seam. That's not so bad. It's actually lighter than the one I have below the equator. However. HOWEVER! Because I had gallbladder surgery, the seam is just a little to the left and doesn't match up perfectly. I look like I'm wearing a skin suit that was pieced together at the last minute. Either that, or I'm just dirty.
* The Hub and I talked last night about who will be allowed in the Labor and Delivery room. We had this conversation last time, but I felt the importance necessitated a revisit. Listen, guys, what it boils down to is this: You get a vote. You could vote for your mother or your father or whomever you want - to be in the room while your child is born. But, seeing that it is not YOUR vagina being poked, stretched and prodded by every asshole who comes in, your partner gets TWO votes. Final Words: Your partner decides who is in the room. Your job is to ensure that happens. The nurses are there to make sure your birthing experience is as close to your plan as possible. There is very little they can control for you - keeping your baby's expectant fan club in the waiting room is one of them.
* In an effort to save money, I have sworn a solemn oath to "try" and make dinner every night at home - and send the left-overs as lunch for the Hub during the week. As of right now - Friday lunchtime - I have succeeded doing so since Sunday. So, six whole days of eating at home - "Pantry Digging" as I like to call it. I even have a meal planned for tonight, but let's be honest. It's Friday and I have a friend in town. You can't go to Ted Drewes for dessert without having an amazing Steak au Poivre somewhere first. And, by somewhere, I mean not at home.
I pulled away from maternity on that last one. . . but, you get the point. This is my pregnant life as I'm living it. It is not an easy life, but it is the one that I have with my child. Now that everything has calmed, I hope to post more often again. It's just hard to do when you are holding your breath.
(I'm being realistic here, folks. I would love to NEVER have another emergency, but that is like counting on sprouting wings from my heels and soaring into the stratosphere.) So, in essence, I have 15 days to go and I will meet my goal. That's two weeks and 1 day for your calculation-challenged people.
On this oppressively hot Friday, I thought I would give you a list of updates / things I have to be glad about (Yes. Another fucking Pollyanna day. Eat it, punk.)
* I have made it six days without contracting (to my knowledge) or leaking (anything other than the occasional pee.) Again, being realistic requires me to accept the occasional self-pee simply because I have a child whose favorite time is playing bouncy castle on my bladder. No lie.
* I got out of the house yesterday and spent time with two of my favorite people. BONUS: Sticky Toffee Pudding with real Whipped Cream.
* On Tuesday, I received my Cortisone shots and I can tell you that my hands and wrists feel like normal. That shit is extremely painful (read: shooting lava into your wrists and hands and then forcing your hands to flex to move it around) but completely worth it. I haven't had any bad Carpal Tunnel juju since!
* One of my favorite out-of-towners is home for a week and he missed the behemoth that is me when I am pregnant - last time. So, I am looking forward to sporting my bump for Bart. "Bump for Bart" It's like a really gross charity. Ew.
* I saw the trailer for Thor2. I'm not going to lie. I will be seeing that eventually.
* This winter, when it is really fucking cold out and the child is still so young that he sleeps all the time, the Hub and I are going to host a party. We will have some obscene ice sculpture shot luge, a fire pit and a pony keg. People are welcome if they bring one of two items: a bottle of shootable liquor (no Popov, you cheapskate!) or a warm and delicious dish to share. Your child is welcome if s/he is anesthetized or young enough to sleep in a dark room with our child. Seriously. You can't be exposing young minds to a bunch of drunk adults sucking chilled shots of liquor out of a naked woman shot luge made out of ice! Dress warmly, ya'll!
* I think my Hub takes it as a bad omen that every time he plans to tell his parents that we are having another baby - I end up in the hospital. Perhaps in another two weeks. . . when we are officially past where we got to last time.
* My belly seam has expanded. No, not East to West, but NORTH. So, now it looks like I have a FULL belly seam. That's not so bad. It's actually lighter than the one I have below the equator. However. HOWEVER! Because I had gallbladder surgery, the seam is just a little to the left and doesn't match up perfectly. I look like I'm wearing a skin suit that was pieced together at the last minute. Either that, or I'm just dirty.
* The Hub and I talked last night about who will be allowed in the Labor and Delivery room. We had this conversation last time, but I felt the importance necessitated a revisit. Listen, guys, what it boils down to is this: You get a vote. You could vote for your mother or your father or whomever you want - to be in the room while your child is born. But, seeing that it is not YOUR vagina being poked, stretched and prodded by every asshole who comes in, your partner gets TWO votes. Final Words: Your partner decides who is in the room. Your job is to ensure that happens. The nurses are there to make sure your birthing experience is as close to your plan as possible. There is very little they can control for you - keeping your baby's expectant fan club in the waiting room is one of them.
* In an effort to save money, I have sworn a solemn oath to "try" and make dinner every night at home - and send the left-overs as lunch for the Hub during the week. As of right now - Friday lunchtime - I have succeeded doing so since Sunday. So, six whole days of eating at home - "Pantry Digging" as I like to call it. I even have a meal planned for tonight, but let's be honest. It's Friday and I have a friend in town. You can't go to Ted Drewes for dessert without having an amazing Steak au Poivre somewhere first. And, by somewhere, I mean not at home.
I pulled away from maternity on that last one. . . but, you get the point. This is my pregnant life as I'm living it. It is not an easy life, but it is the one that I have with my child. Now that everything has calmed, I hope to post more often again. It's just hard to do when you are holding your breath.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
CUTTING IT CLOSE.
Knowing that I would be home bound for two weeks (at least) bothered me. So, I decided to meet some friends at a mall for lunch and a quick shopping excursion (Code names: MeeMee, Corenthal the murdering bus driver, and Smell.) I managed to get one of the two items on my list and have a delicious lunch at the Nordstrom Bistro before noticing that I was having contractions.
Not the kind of friends to let me leave on my own (how did they know I was going to drive straight home?), all three girls accompanied me to the local high risk hospital (the same one Mira was born in.) Check-in was swift and I was subjected to a battery of tests, which included trans-vaginal and abdominal ultrasounds, uterine monitoring, blood pressure monitoring, pelvic examination, urine sampling, blood sampling, and vaginal cultures. Seriously. There was nothing left to test.
Luckily, every single test came back negative. So, eventually, I was released and drove home to have a cannoli. (Isn't that the answer to everything?)
Here are a few things I learned. . .
* They hospital folks recalculated my due date to match the second date given by my OB: November 13/14.
* The baby is happy and healthy and measuring perfectly for 22w3d (as of yesterday.) The estimated weight? 1lb5oz. Big Baby.
* My girlfriends are amazing. There is nothing like having a group of women that you have known since childhood, to put you at ease when you feel like you are starting down a nightmare. Again.
So, I'm in the house. Feel free to come by. I like company and if you swing by at the right time, I will have dinner ready. Don't bring anything. There is no price of admission. But, if you were taught by your Mama to never show up empty-handed, you can bring shaved-ice, a board game, some funny stories. . . Yeah.
Not the kind of friends to let me leave on my own (how did they know I was going to drive straight home?), all three girls accompanied me to the local high risk hospital (the same one Mira was born in.) Check-in was swift and I was subjected to a battery of tests, which included trans-vaginal and abdominal ultrasounds, uterine monitoring, blood pressure monitoring, pelvic examination, urine sampling, blood sampling, and vaginal cultures. Seriously. There was nothing left to test.
Luckily, every single test came back negative. So, eventually, I was released and drove home to have a cannoli. (Isn't that the answer to everything?)
Here are a few things I learned. . .
* They hospital folks recalculated my due date to match the second date given by my OB: November 13/14.
* The baby is happy and healthy and measuring perfectly for 22w3d (as of yesterday.) The estimated weight? 1lb5oz. Big Baby.
* My girlfriends are amazing. There is nothing like having a group of women that you have known since childhood, to put you at ease when you feel like you are starting down a nightmare. Again.
So, I'm in the house. Feel free to come by. I like company and if you swing by at the right time, I will have dinner ready. Don't bring anything. There is no price of admission. But, if you were taught by your Mama to never show up empty-handed, you can bring shaved-ice, a board game, some funny stories. . . Yeah.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
UNDER CONTRACT.
Last night, I couldn't sleep. This seems to happen the night before an ultrasound. Also, I'm a professional back sleeper and this side sleeping shit is for dummies. Word.
I might have mentioned that I have been having some contractions. Maybe I should specify that I don't feel contractions like a normal person. Therefore, I only really know that I'm having one if I happen to be touching myself (not like that, you pervert) and my belly gets hard.
Today, the Hub and I, accompanied by my awesome SIL, went I for the anatomy and anomaly scan. (We'll talk about the results in a minute.). In other words, the BIG ultrasound. A few things sparked some concern, namely my extreme discomfort laying on my back for the scan, prompted my nurse to sit me in an exam room to wait for the doctor.
After examining my cerclage and cervix and determining that there is no softening, the cerclage is long and till very "high up in there" I was told to relax and take things slow and easy. You know me. Slow ('cause I'm big) and easy (no, just no.)
The good news is that my cervix is 4cm+ and everything is looking good. We could even see my cerclage stitches in my cervix. We caught actual visual evidence of my child pushing with BOTH feet off of my bladder and rocketing upwards to the top of my uterus. The little jerk!
The baby measured beautifully and my due date has shifted quite a bit. . . But, we are not changing anything on paper.
In conclusion (doesn't that sound official?), I'm not going to Chicago for the weekend, I will be working from home the next two weeks until they can measure my cervix safely again. . . And, I have weeky appointments until I'm past my 26th week.
That is a plan.
I might have mentioned that I have been having some contractions. Maybe I should specify that I don't feel contractions like a normal person. Therefore, I only really know that I'm having one if I happen to be touching myself (not like that, you pervert) and my belly gets hard.
Today, the Hub and I, accompanied by my awesome SIL, went I for the anatomy and anomaly scan. (We'll talk about the results in a minute.). In other words, the BIG ultrasound. A few things sparked some concern, namely my extreme discomfort laying on my back for the scan, prompted my nurse to sit me in an exam room to wait for the doctor.
After examining my cerclage and cervix and determining that there is no softening, the cerclage is long and till very "high up in there" I was told to relax and take things slow and easy. You know me. Slow ('cause I'm big) and easy (no, just no.)
The good news is that my cervix is 4cm+ and everything is looking good. We could even see my cerclage stitches in my cervix. We caught actual visual evidence of my child pushing with BOTH feet off of my bladder and rocketing upwards to the top of my uterus. The little jerk!
The baby measured beautifully and my due date has shifted quite a bit. . . But, we are not changing anything on paper.
In conclusion (doesn't that sound official?), I'm not going to Chicago for the weekend, I will be working from home the next two weeks until they can measure my cervix safely again. . . And, I have weeky appointments until I'm past my 26th week.
That is a plan.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
TIGHT QUARTERS.
Tonight, the baby decided to lay against the left side of my abdomen. The Hub was able to feel it and the comparison of how squishy the other side remained. I have to admit that as tense as I am this month, I was scared for a moment.
The baby has been very active today. I'm pretty sure I am growing a night owl, folks. Sleeping in and going down late. . . This is definitely my child.
July is going to be a long month to make it through. I can beat this fear.
The baby has been very active today. I'm pretty sure I am growing a night owl, folks. Sleeping in and going down late. . . This is definitely my child.
July is going to be a long month to make it through. I can beat this fear.
Monday, July 8, 2013
MILESTONE DAYS.
Another week. Another shot. Another contraction.
Yes. I'm pretty sure I started having irregular contractions today. I waited and they are no more.
Trust me. I would have called the doctor if the fear level had gone up a single smidge.
For now, I will add a few more items to my list of "Shit I Did While Pregnant"
* I ran, laughing, from a firework tower that tipped over and launched huge mortars in my direction.
* I ran, laughing, from a homemade Sparkler Bomb. Trust me. It is worth a go.
* I lounged in a pool long enough to feel comfortable. Unfortunately, when you do figure out that you have to pee, it is much worse when you get out of the pool. Trust me. Pee often.
* I tried on and purchased what felt like 900 maternity outfits because it is apparent that my regular baggy clothes are done trying. The sad part is that I am scared to wear at of them because in just a few short weeks, I will be at the same place I was when I last went I to labor. So. . . There's that.
. . . I'm waiting for tomorrow to be better. I'm pretty sure this includes a visit to Mission Taco.
Yes. I'm pretty sure I started having irregular contractions today. I waited and they are no more.
Trust me. I would have called the doctor if the fear level had gone up a single smidge.
For now, I will add a few more items to my list of "Shit I Did While Pregnant"
* I ran, laughing, from a firework tower that tipped over and launched huge mortars in my direction.
* I ran, laughing, from a homemade Sparkler Bomb. Trust me. It is worth a go.
* I lounged in a pool long enough to feel comfortable. Unfortunately, when you do figure out that you have to pee, it is much worse when you get out of the pool. Trust me. Pee often.
* I tried on and purchased what felt like 900 maternity outfits because it is apparent that my regular baggy clothes are done trying. The sad part is that I am scared to wear at of them because in just a few short weeks, I will be at the same place I was when I last went I to labor. So. . . There's that.
. . . I'm waiting for tomorrow to be better. I'm pretty sure this includes a visit to Mission Taco.
Friday, July 5, 2013
HOLIDAZE.
Because I am in the middle of a four-day-holiday-weekend-FOG, I am going to itemize this post for clarity.
Adding to the things that I have done whilst carrying a child. . .
* Celebrated the birthday of our nation by building and setting off Sparkler Bombs. Because I am 11 years old and need more reason to run, laughing, for my life.
* Driven around a drunk asshole driving the wrong way on the Southbound side of the highway.
So far, the holiday weekend has been eventful and I am looking forward to my plans for the day. . .
* Working for a while to ensure business continuity (sounds professional, right?)
* Running to Target to pick up some things before heading over to a friend's house to swim and make eat. Make. Eat.
Changes for the Baby and Me. . .
* I wake up as early as the baby wants. This is primarily because someone is getting stronger and stronger and the resulting feeling of being kicked in the gut (from the inside) isnt' so pleasant. The Hub still can't feel the kicking from the outside, but I'm sure that will change in the next couple weeks.
* This child loves Chinese (specifically the broccoli from beef and broccoli - over rice), Mexican (specifically hot and spicy chicken chimichangas), french fries (seasoned, please), and iced water. Kind of - this means that I love them, too.
* My belly is rotund. I'm sure it wouldn't be so out there, but, I just had a baby last September and also. . . I have a dwarf-sized torso, so. . . there's nowhere for my stuff to go, but OUT. Yeah.
So, while I continue my weekend, I hope yours is wonderful and exciting. Please have an adult beverage or two for me. . . I figure if enough people do this for me, it will be like I'm really getting hammered for the holiday. ;)
Adding to the things that I have done whilst carrying a child. . .
* Celebrated the birthday of our nation by building and setting off Sparkler Bombs. Because I am 11 years old and need more reason to run, laughing, for my life.
* Driven around a drunk asshole driving the wrong way on the Southbound side of the highway.
So far, the holiday weekend has been eventful and I am looking forward to my plans for the day. . .
* Working for a while to ensure business continuity (sounds professional, right?)
* Running to Target to pick up some things before heading over to a friend's house to swim and make eat. Make. Eat.
Changes for the Baby and Me. . .
* I wake up as early as the baby wants. This is primarily because someone is getting stronger and stronger and the resulting feeling of being kicked in the gut (from the inside) isnt' so pleasant. The Hub still can't feel the kicking from the outside, but I'm sure that will change in the next couple weeks.
* This child loves Chinese (specifically the broccoli from beef and broccoli - over rice), Mexican (specifically hot and spicy chicken chimichangas), french fries (seasoned, please), and iced water. Kind of - this means that I love them, too.
* My belly is rotund. I'm sure it wouldn't be so out there, but, I just had a baby last September and also. . . I have a dwarf-sized torso, so. . . there's nowhere for my stuff to go, but OUT. Yeah.
So, while I continue my weekend, I hope yours is wonderful and exciting. Please have an adult beverage or two for me. . . I figure if enough people do this for me, it will be like I'm really getting hammered for the holiday. ;)
Monday, July 1, 2013
MILESTONE DAYS.
Another week! I'm excited. Can't you tell? Oh? Is my sleepy demeanor and slurred speech throwing you? Yes, that must be part of the side-effects of my lack of good sleep!
This weekend was really laid back. The Hub and I took a long drive, helped some friends celebrate their birthdays, ate some good foods and on at least one occasion, the NAP TRUCK slammed into our house - breaking all of the windows and rendering all of us (the Hub, myself AND the dog) comatose for two hours. Mmmmm!
The baby has been very active and it is comforting to me. Starting the 11th, I will have weekly appointments with both my Home Nurse and my OB's office. Statistically, this is the time we need to take extra precautions as at the end of the month marks the week that I gave birth to Mira. Therefore, there will be plenty of check-ins on my cervical length and fetal heart rate. I just hope this gives me enough peace of mind to endure it all. (Because, if one more person tells me that the key to this "whole" thing is to "be positive" - I might kill them. Seriously. One day, I'm going to write about how holding your child while she dies changes the way that the brain works and that it is impossible to think positively all the time when reality is running up your back. Oh - and let's not get me started today on how the next month is going to be my scariest time and what I need is support rather than your criticism of my realistic approach to my OWN FUCKING health care.)
So to counteract those folks who just have no idea what it is like to lose their child and then be in the middle of a "subsequent" pregnancy. . (I hate that the books call this pregnancy the "subsequent" one. It belittles it) I am going to write a list today of the things that I am looking forward to. . .
* Thursday is Independence Day. To celebrate, it is likely that we will join our extended family on the farm and shoot off some enormous fireworks. Unless it's hotter than balls. . . then I'll probably find a pool somewhere and float in it until September.
* Friday, a group of us is getting together and swimming and BBQing all day long. I plan to make some amazing foods to nosh on and get this. . I *will* be in a bikini. Smirk all you want. . . but, I've got the balls. What I don't have is room in a normal swimming suit. So, really. . this is for the best.
* Saturday I get the use of my friend's season tickets to the Muny (The St Louis Municipal Opera house) in Forest Park. The feature of the week is Nunsense. . which I have on an old VHS - starting one of my favorite Golden Girls. Because I'm also 60 and Catholic. Because I'm neither of these things.
Hopefully, the next three days will pass by quickly. Thursday is typically my favorite day of the workweek. . . and today is my . . "sort of" Wednesday. . tomorrow should be awesome! =)
This weekend was really laid back. The Hub and I took a long drive, helped some friends celebrate their birthdays, ate some good foods and on at least one occasion, the NAP TRUCK slammed into our house - breaking all of the windows and rendering all of us (the Hub, myself AND the dog) comatose for two hours. Mmmmm!
The baby has been very active and it is comforting to me. Starting the 11th, I will have weekly appointments with both my Home Nurse and my OB's office. Statistically, this is the time we need to take extra precautions as at the end of the month marks the week that I gave birth to Mira. Therefore, there will be plenty of check-ins on my cervical length and fetal heart rate. I just hope this gives me enough peace of mind to endure it all. (Because, if one more person tells me that the key to this "whole" thing is to "be positive" - I might kill them. Seriously. One day, I'm going to write about how holding your child while she dies changes the way that the brain works and that it is impossible to think positively all the time when reality is running up your back. Oh - and let's not get me started today on how the next month is going to be my scariest time and what I need is support rather than your criticism of my realistic approach to my OWN FUCKING health care.)
So to counteract those folks who just have no idea what it is like to lose their child and then be in the middle of a "subsequent" pregnancy. . (I hate that the books call this pregnancy the "subsequent" one. It belittles it) I am going to write a list today of the things that I am looking forward to. . .
* Thursday is Independence Day. To celebrate, it is likely that we will join our extended family on the farm and shoot off some enormous fireworks. Unless it's hotter than balls. . . then I'll probably find a pool somewhere and float in it until September.
* Friday, a group of us is getting together and swimming and BBQing all day long. I plan to make some amazing foods to nosh on and get this. . I *will* be in a bikini. Smirk all you want. . . but, I've got the balls. What I don't have is room in a normal swimming suit. So, really. . this is for the best.
* Saturday I get the use of my friend's season tickets to the Muny (The St Louis Municipal Opera house) in Forest Park. The feature of the week is Nunsense. . which I have on an old VHS - starting one of my favorite Golden Girls. Because I'm also 60 and Catholic. Because I'm neither of these things.
Hopefully, the next three days will pass by quickly. Thursday is typically my favorite day of the workweek. . . and today is my . . "sort of" Wednesday. . tomorrow should be awesome! =)
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