SLOW DRIVE TO INSANITY.

Let's talk about bed rest.

I know some of you are on it.  And it sucks.  This isn't really for us.  This is for all of the fools out there who think bed rest is a mini vacation of sleep and relaxation.  This is for the asshats who like to tell us that it is all worth it in the end.  This is for all of the morons who, if they tell me it's just a little thing I must do for my child, I will search for the most illegal, longest ranging, high-powered rifle and kill them in their home from my bed. . . But, really, Mr. FBI-Man, that isn't feasible.  I can barely even fire a gun - much less make the perfect shot over houses and around corners.  Right.

So, let's talk about bed rest.

I try my hardest to keep a regular schedule.  I know that if I sleep too much during the day, I will eventually NOT sleep at night.  As it is, my insomnia prevents me from falling asleep soon enough.  So, I typically wake up between 830 and 930am and go to bed between 1030 and 11pm.  I feel like this is as normal as it gets right now.

Once I wake up, I lay in bed whilst allowing my fuzzy eyes to focus on something.  I breathe.  A lot.  I'm waiting to feel the baby wake-up, too.  I've read about other women drinking soda and eating candy bars prior to their OB appointments, but I need to feel my child move EVERY morning.

When the baby has gotten his morning calisthenics out of the way, I get up and take care of business.  Potty time and oral hygiene and a change of PJs helps me feel better and ready to face the day.  On the couch.

Lately I have watched across the street as our neighbors are putting in a garage from the ground up.  I approve of their building methods.

Eventually, I start snacking.  I am very aware of my lack of physical activity.  Therefore, when I eat, I make sure to control both the portions and the calories.  I am making sure that both the baby and I get the necessary input because GOOD GRAVY, people, I am already having some serious muscle atrophy.

At some point, I will start a marathon of television - both DVRd and "live"

Of course, while all of this is happening (did I really just refer to my life as "all of this?!?!?"), I am drinking copious amounts of water to help stave off additional contractions.  Additional to the few I have each hour in spite of the bed rest.

When the Hub finally gets home, he takes the Puppers out for some play time - can I tell you how frustrating it is that I can't play with her?  Throwing a ball is bad, bad, bad.

Dinner is made and served shortly after.

Then, we talk and watch TV and my Hub tries desperately to suggest activities until I start to feel really grubby and go take a shower.

Bedtime follows closely.

Think that this all sounds like a good day?  Did I mention that I was heavily reclined or on my side in bed during these activities?  Do you know what constant laying does to your body?  The less physical activity you have, the more exhausted you get.  The more exhausted you are, the less you want to do. . . it's a vicious circle, people!

Meanwhile, dear bed resters, I can't completely leave you out of this one. . . here are some things that keep me amused while I "lay about". .

*  Sudoku.  I do a few and then stop.  There is something about newsprint paper that make me reminisce about grade school.

*  Crossword Puzzles.  I do one and then stop.  I <3 the New York Times Crossword Puzzle.

*  Television.  This must be limited to detour from Crazy Town.  But, I enjoy Orange is the New Black, Covert Affairs, and any number of crime shows.  I try to limit this to a few hours a day - with the little addition of St Louis Cardinals Baseball.  That usually rounds out my nights.

*  Researching baby products.  My Hub and I are *not* those people.  We are not buying everything under the sun for our offspring.  Instead, we have a short list that must be procured prior to the baby's arrival.  Last night, we talked about said products so that if I went into labor today, he could run out and get everything.  Smart?  Oh yeah.  Prepared?  Oh yeah.  One short mile from Crazy Town?  OH YEAH!  (Kool-Aid Man, whut-whut?)

*  Because I have my own hang-ups about preparing for the baby, I have yet to do any craftiness for him.  I have the "ingredients" for a baby blanket and a myriad of other supplies with which to knit awesomeness, but I can't bring myself to do any of it.  Fear is a strong anti-motivator.  But, I hear crafts are awesome for bed rest.  IF you can do them laying down.  ;)

Eventually, I should write a post about baby products that I plan to use so that I can then write about just how right or wrong I was - after the baby has arrived.  Perhaps I will add blogging to my list of things to do more often. . . Right.