GETTING INTO THE FLOW OF THINGS.

Let's talk about something gross (because the rest of this blog has been "gross-free", right?)

Lochia.  Because you didn't really miss your period.  You just saved it up all year for now.  And Mother Nature is pissed.  So pissed, in fact, that mesh panties and ginormous pads of mattress proportions are necessary.

My child is four weeks old.  This means that I have been bleeding for. . . (yup, you guessed it) . . four weeks.  And, it ain't all sunshine and roses.

In the beginning, there were chicken livers.  Yeah.  Think about that.  Chicken livers of my own body's making.  And they were escaping.  ESCAPING.

There were times when I changed my hospital pad (Think 14" x 20" - or some other enormous measurement) 10 times a day just to keep clean.  Because, let me tell you, that little squirt bottle does wonders for cleansing - but, only while it's squirting.

About a week in, I downgraded to an ultra thin overnight pad with wings.  I'm getting as specific as I can without naming brands.  The Hub was sent on a mission one night to procure some of these and in an effort to NOT have to return to the store for them, bought two jumbo packs and managed to amuse the cashier and the bagger girl.  That's funnier to me than the Chicken Livers running for their lives through my vagina.  (Throwback!)

In the beginning, the bright redness is daunting.  Then, it tones down to darker red. . . to rust. . . to brown.  Eventually, it's just darker discharge.  Then, it ceases to exist.  Eventually.

With my first pregnancy, I had a full six weeks of this shit.  With any luck, this time is about over.  But, as your OB may likely tell you, it may stop and then start again.  Nice.  Reliable body.