PENDING

Monday will bring about the 18 week check-in.  It will consist of the same treatment I received the previous several times:  First I'll pee in a cup and deposit it into what looks like a secret wall safe.  Then, I'll be dopplered to make sure that everyone is still alive in there.  Finally, we'll have a Q&A session for any of those ridiculous things I come up with between sessions.

This week, I am coming armed with a list of questions - not unlike the very first appointment.  I hope to bring all of the glorious answers back in a nice, neat report.

1.  Are inverted yoga positions okay?  How about doing handstands or using an inversion table?  Sometimes, I just feel the need to stretch myself out, momentarily, like a cat before and after a nap.  I feel like my lacking in the upside-down department has caused serious droopages.

2.  Holy 80 year old woman syndrome!  When I wake up, my hands feel like they have been cramped all night - gripping my pillow a little too tightly (Enter Sandman, Wha?)  If I try too early in the day, I can't even grip a pen without feeling hurty.  Popping my knuckles seems to alleviate some of the pain but it just turns it down to a dull roar throughout the day.  What can I do?  Continue to ice my hands when they feel like little blood sausages?  Is this doing damage?

3.  Sleeping is horrendous.  And, don't give me some shit about "your body is preparing you for the lack of sleep you will get when the baby arrives"  It is a popular line of thinking but I think that whomever thought up that shit is a sadist.  My list of safe medications says that I can take 1/2 a pill of Unisom for morning sickness.  So, my intent is to take 1/2 a pill of Unisom for its real purpose.  Is this okay?  How often can I do this?

4.  I can't sleep on my back worth a shit.  I saw once that sharks will go into some kind of peristalsis if flipped onto their backs.  Maybe I share more than just my predatory nature with them.  The Snoogle makes me feel really crowded right now, so I have decided to shelve it until I need more body support.  In the meantime, I suppose I will keep waking up every few hours to find that I am slowly killing my baby by sleeping on my back?  What are my other options?  Sleeping upright with pillows?  At what angle is safe?

5.  Round ligament pain makes me want to stab myself in my abdomen with some shears and snip the ligament in half.  Anyone?  So, what are some other things I can do to help with this?

6.  Last night, I woke up sleeping on my right side.  Everything was alright.  I'm pretty sure I didn't even need to pee - which is a miracle in and of itself.  BUT. . my left hand was asleep and totally hurty.  Some of the crazies online suggest that this is because I was laying on my liver and major circulatory business.  Others think it is because of where the baby is pressing against my spinal column.  I'm not sure I believe either entirely.  If I am sleeping on my right side, why is my LEFT hand going all crazy?  Right.

Early next week, I should have some answers.