Friday morning, my Hub drove me to the hospital. It was 730am and I hadn't eaten or had water since 1030pm the night before. I think you can imagine how I was feeling. Nervous. Car sick. STARVING.
We checked into the pre-surgical station and I sat in a vinyl recliner - quietly throwing-up nothing into my mouth. Eventually, a nurse came to stab me. Repeatedly. Actually, she only had to go twice. Once, in my right forearm. . and then in the third knuckle on the back of my right hand. Trust me. It feels awesome.
Around 9am, I was wheeled to the crazy room. It was here that I met my anesthesiologist for the first time and had a couple of conversations with my OB. The nurses kept good watch over me and gave me plenty of IV Zofran when I looked green. They listened to the baby's heart to make sure everything was alright. It was 70.4 degrees in this holding tank and it was still too hot for me to be comfortable. Instead, I listened to the nutcases on either side of me talk to their nurses and anesthesiologists. Nice.
Around 940am, I was taken into the operating room. This is always a strange place to be completely lucid. I could see the ventilation system and the lighting. They turned the air way down low for me - I think 64 degrees. I got to giggle when the nurses and anesthesiologist were trying to strap me down. I tried not to freak out when I saw the "stirrups" But, we'll get to those later.
My OB was staring intently down at me - now I realize he was trying to gauge my lucidity. I blurted out, "oh shit, I'm getting dizzy" The anesthesiologist explained that he had given me a little juice. Don't be too concerned, people, it was already explained to me that I would not be put "under" due to my "condition" but they would sedate me enough that while I would know what was going on. . . I "wouldn't care" Yeah.
So, the stirrups. Normal OB Office stirrups are little heel rests that help you get yourself into optimal viewing position. These were more like full leg cuffs which hoisted my junk in the air so that it could be manipulated and stretched and sewn shut. Yeah. Sounds like a horrifying BDSM Porno to me!
But. . . I really didn't care. In fact, I dozed off a couple times in the 15 minutes it took to open, sew and shut me up.
Eventually, I woke up again and again. The final time, my Hub was standing over me watching. Nice.
So. . . . when I was able, I waddled to the bathroom to relieve myself. Two bags of glucose really run through a girl! It was tough. I felt like my uterus was going to fall out of my vagina. (Who in fuck's name ever thought I would say that?!#) The hospital dosed me with Percoset and a little bump of Zofran for the road.
I was released and the Hub took me home. I spent the rest of the day in bed. I never needed another Percoset. But, I'm also pretty high pain tolerant.
There was bleeding - pink. It didn't concern me. And, it stopped Saturday afternoon. While the bleeding didn't get to me, the contractions did. I had some lovely cramping - like menstrual cramping. And, I'm pretty sure my belly hardened a few times. I counted and it wasn't regular. Eventually, it stopped. And I slept.
Fast forward a few days. . . . It is Monday. I am 17 weeks along and I feel like I have been through something crazy. Round ligament pain seems to be a little more intense. I feel like my uterus is hanging really low in my body - in the "for realz" world, they actually pulled all that DOWN so that they could get a good stitch in place. Yeah. Nice picture!
Let's now talk about my junk. I'm not sure that it's going to go back to its original shape and size. I'm pretty sure the "paddles" used to hold me open while performing the surgery must have been kayak paddles. I feel . . . swollen and . . . yeah. Really? Do you need more adjectives?
I have been a little scared to poop. So, I have been drinking apple juice and taking Colace.
My follow-up is Thursday. I am thinking of asking my OB to take a good picture while he's in there looking around. I am really curious to see how I look from the inside with my new scaffolding.
Yeah. Celebrate 17 weeks!
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