Dear Vagina,
It has been a while since we last spoke; even longer since I saw you face to. . . Hmmm.
I want you to know that I miss seeing you unassisted. While hindered, I will still keep in touch. There's no sense in disregarding ingrown hairs just because we aren't as close as we once were.
Sure, you suffered dishonor while I was heavily drugged. And the audience! I'm sure it was a day you will never forget. But, it was for the best.
You will suffer again before the year is gone. Hopefully it will be as quick and merciful.
Until we meet again, I vow to keep you clean and groomed as always.
Love,
Me
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