As most of the baby books will tell you, the biggest risk of losing pregnancy is in the first 12 weeks (first trimester). Logically, because of this, the Hub and I are telling very few people (we'll get to how to pick the special few later). Meanwhile, there have been some obvious life-changing events happening and some of your sneakier, snoopier friends and family might just notice. . . here are a couple ways to combat "the nosy"
This one took a little premeditation. Quit smoking prior to trying to get pregnant. Make sure that you get hammered at least one time and then massacre your husband when he won't get you cigarettes on the way home. Then, when you find out you are pregnant and you have to quit drinking, make sure that everyone remembers just how hard it is to quit smoking if you continue to drink like a bastard. That will shut them up for just a little while (and make them feel awful for the Hub). And, it doesn't hurt that it
is true. Partially.
When you must stop being the tackling-dummy target for ambitious base-runners, you must tell your teams
something.
Make sure that your lie is believable. The best lies, as any conniving ass-hat will tell you, are as detailed as you can remember. In this case, I sent an email to my teams' captains explaining that my orthopaedist (note the snotty entitlement spelling) had nixed my run for 2012 Olympic co-ed softball Gold. More specifically, I was having some issues with hip joint pain and impact activities, such as running and twisting and sliding and getting slammed into, aren't ok. Again, it is partially true since the ligaments in my hips are giving salt-water taffy a run for its money.
REVIEW: Not ready to tell? Feel free to lie. Best lies? Partially true and very detailed.
. . . Yes. I have heard that I am a spectacular liar. Need some help coming up with awesome excuses while you are pregnant? Apply here. I could use a new extra-curricular!
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