Saturday, October 19, 2013

HAP-PEE, HAP-PEE, HAP-PEE!

Do you ever get the feeling that if you don't "go" right now, you will die?  How about racing to get to the bathroom only to find that you can't pee?  That has been my life.

This morning, for example, I woke up feeling the urge and I limped (Pubic Bone Problems) to the bathroom as quickly as I could.  I dropped trou and took a load off only to find that when I opened the flood gates, there was NO flood.  In fact, it felt like the baby was leaning so hard into my groin, that he was cutting off all exit routes.  Selfish baby!

So, I wiped (nothing), stood up, washed my hands and walked into the living room to complain to the Hub.  Then, I walked back into the bathroom to try again (because I'm five and trying desperately to deserve my big girl Undies) - and LO!  I peed.  Like a fucking geyser.  Sweet baby Moses!  Let my sins be washed clean by the Niagara!!

Rest assured that I will repeat the exact process every time and as often as necessary.

In other news, I had an OB appointment on Friday.  I do indeed have some severe pelvic pain.  That will go away after birth.  However, my cerclage is causing some problems.  The pinching / stabbing feeling?  Yeah.  My stitch is straining.  In fact, I am dilating and thinning.  If I have a repeat of last Monday, we will remove the cerclage early and get ready for the big show.  Otherwise, we will wait until the 28th as planned.

I'm not-so-secretly hoping for some labor to magically visit me before I return to work on Monday (for the first time in over 60 days.)  This timing would prevent me from returning to work until 2014 and have me enjoying my holidays with my newly expanded family.

We have 36 hours to get this show on the road. . . cross your fingers.  ;)

Oh!  I think it's time for the Pee Ritual. . . NOW, cross your fingers!

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